Looking for the Light

This is supposed to be a season of joy and light.  Whether you are a Christian or not, this is the time of winter solstice, where we welcome in light of all kinds to brighten the darkness.  It’s been so hard for me to feel the joy of the season this year.  It’s been a year of loss for me – first, my mother-in-law died in January and then my father died at the end of March.  I’ve just kept one foot in front of the other and kept going.  Spring came and went, summer hurried along, the fall swept by, and now I find myself in winter with months of cold and early nightfall ahead.  Often, I stop and reflect on all the blessings I’ve had, and I am so grateful.  Still, there’s something keeping me from feeling the spirit of Christmas.

In an effort to find the magic of that time when I was a child, I took myself on a field trip to my local home and garden store, Back to Nature.  It has a series of sheds filled with greenery, flowers, and ornaments and a main building is filled with all kinds of holiday gifts in every nook and cranny.

I parked my car and was greeted by two stone doves.  I smiled, feeling better already.  I went shed by shed thinking I’d see some of my favorite things from last year, but they changed things around and everything was different.  There was new loveliness in each shed, treasures to be discovered.  I became a child again. There was wonder at every turn.  This was an expedition searching for joy, and I found it everywhere I turned:  Christmas gnomes, golden wreaths, poinsettias, candles, ornaments, and so much more.  Everything held or reflected the light I was yearning for.