Lessons from Lunch: Connecting with Students

A wonderful thing happened to me last week, and I needed it. It came in the form of a third-grade girl, aptly named June. She is bright, sunny, and hopeful. Even though academic work does not come easy for her, June is diligent and doesn’t let anything get in her way. I am in awe of her spunk.

One day last week I was in the dining hall trying to find a place to sit. I started to put my plates down on a table and a student told me she was saving a seat for her friend. I quickly turned to find another spot. June came along side me and said, “Mrs. Emery, come sit with me. I saved a seat for you.” When I sat down next to June, she told me that her mother had talked to her about the upcoming standardizing testing, which I’m in charge of. Before I could say a word, June said, “I have some questions for you.” I answered each and every question and was amazed how thoughtful and organized her questions were. This child had been thinking about testing for quite a long time. I reassured her and told her that I would be giving her class a complete introduction since this was their first year taking the test.

We continued eating and other students joined our table. We chatted about food, books, and weekend adventures. Soon, it was time to clean up. Another student was having a hard time clearing her dishes, and I was still eating. June leaned towards me and asked permission to help her classmate. I nodded my head and agreed. Again, I was in awe of June’s kindness. This girl, who sometimes finds schoolwork difficult, eagerly lends a hand to others.

After lunch, I knew what I wanted to do. I needed to champion June to her parents. I wanted them to know how reflective and kind she was. So, I sat down in my office and wrote an email with the subject line: Your Wonderful, Kind, Smart, Thoughtful Daughter. I told them what I had experienced at lunch and praised June explicitly. As I pressed send, I was filled with gladness. I was so happy to share with June’s parents what I had experienced.

The next day, June’s mom found me after school. She thanked me for my note and said it was the most wonderful letter she ever received about her daughter. I said, “She’s young. Get ready, you will receive many of those letters!’ She smiled and laughed. Then she said that she shared my letter with June. My words made June so happy that she read it aloud. Then June asked her mom if reading my letter could count as her nightly reading. Her mother said that June’s letter reading only took 1 minute. Then June said, “Well, then I’ll read it 25 times aloud. It is so good!” I laughed and laughed. What a kid! Then June came running up and hugged me. I bend down and said to her, “I meant what I said, June. You are a wonderful, kind, smart, thoughtful student.” Then she hoped in her mom’s car and drove off.

In my long teaching career, I knew that lifting kids up with kind words and a patient ear, was so very important. It made the difference between success and failure. I know that teachers have such an important impact on their students and that if we take time, see their strengths, and let them know we believe in them, then their progress gains momentum and their confidence soars. It’s easy sometimes for teachers to get wrapped up in all the daily work they have to do: the forms, the curriculum, the meetings. But it is the children who should take up the precious center of a teacher’s day. That’s one of the reasons I eat lunch with students. I can catch up with them, gauge how they are handling schoolwork and social interactions. When I sit alongside them, they begin to view me as an ally and friend. They trust me and are willing to share their feelings and ideas. This makes me a much more effective teacher.