Christmas Tree Memories

The one symbol of Christmas that I have always loved is the Christmas tree. I loved the anticipation of buying it and bringing it home, decorating it, and watching it light up the winter darkness. To tell the truth, I didn’t really even care much for the presents. The tree was present enough for me. I loved how every year it would return just a little bit different with some old ornaments and some new ones. The idea of the Christmas tree brought me hope and stirred my imagination. I looked forward to it every year.

One year, when I was a senior in high school, our homeroom had decorated a spindly live tree. It rivaled Charlie Brown’s sad but loved little tree. My homeroom tree was tall and very skinny with sparse branches. On the last day before winter holiday, my homeroom teacher was going to toss it in the garbage after we had removed all our handmade ornaments. So, I asked her if I could take the tree home. “You don’t have a tree?” she asked astonished. I told her I didn’t and that I would take the tree home. She smiled and nodded her head, probably relieved that I had taken some work out of her hands.

That year, my mom was not in the mood for putting up a tree. In fact, the last few years, she had bought a small artificial tree that stood on an end table in the living room. Her daughters were now in high school and college, and I guess she thought we had outgrown Christmas trees, or maybe she was just plain old tired. In any case, I was feeling deprived so I carried the tree home with the help of some friends. When I brought it in the door, my mother was shocked, clearly thinking her youngest daughter was out of her mind – again. She shook her head, as I explained that it was free, and I would decorate it and clean it up after Christmas. She was too tired to argue with me, and she gave in. Maybe she was secretly happy that I had brought some Christmas cheer back into our home. I know that I was exuberant, getting out the lights, the boxes of ornaments, and setting up my poor skinny Christmas tree. It shone brightly that night, and I was immensely happy.

Skip ahead a decade or two and early in our marriage, my husband and I spent time setting up and decorating Christmas trees each year. We had favorite ornaments that we loved to unwrap and become delighted with again. I would put the dates on the bottom of each new ornament because I wanted to remember each year. One year, we lived in a tiny apartment, and I found found another orphan tree that had branches on only one side. It was basically half a tree, which fit perfect in our pint-sized apartment. Again, it didn’t take much to make me happy and filled with holiday spirit. I just needed something to decorate and give a little love.

When my nieces were young, I would buy them a new special ornament every year until they were well into their twenties. The intention was for them to have a box full of ornaments to take with them to their own homes when they ventured out into their adult lives. I wanted each ornament to be an anchor for them, holding the past for them and helping them to create their own hopeful futures.

Eventually, my husband and I stopped putting up a real tree. We started traveling for the holidays, so having a Christmas tree sitting alone in our apartment seemed so sad and lonely. I started collecting all kinds of small trees: wooden, ceramic, glass, felt, and tin. I loved searching for new items throughout the years and decorating our mantel with them. They are accompanied by a variety of snowmen and Santas. I love setting them up, leaving on vacation for two weeks or so, and returning to them in the New Year. They are a wonderful welcoming party when we returned home.